Sunday, July 25, 2010

Hope for the Hopeless?

As I run along the river, I see some of the same people everyday. No doubt that they are homeless, as they have the same clothes on everyday and they smell of sweat and are filthy. One guy in particular has stuck out to me. I passed him the other day as he was staggering along the sidewalk, talking to himself along the way. As I ran past I gave him a "good morning" and he shamefully looked to the ground. This man seemed to have no hope. As I ran back I came up to him again sitting on the curb, just talking to himself and every once in a while he would chuckle.
This man made me think about what drives a person to this point of craziness. Does this man have any hope? Do these people reach this point as a result of many failed attempts at pursuing their desires? Where were they ten years ago, fifteen years ago? Did they hold a desire to be something bigger than themselves. I'm pretty sure that when they were my age that they had a desire for something bigger than where they are now. As I see the hopelessness in the eyes of some of these people, it breaks my heart. Where did their passion go? What happened to their dreams and desires?
Over the past two or three weeks I have felt a loss of desire. Many of my desires I no longer felt a desire for. I lost my excitement for Colorado, for pursuing my heart and for doing what I love. I felt like doing nothing with my life. Is this the result of too many failed pursuits? I can see how when we rely on ourselves and continue to fail that a person can fall to such a hopelessness. What is the breaking point? Why is no one reaching to these people. I pass these people and get a feeling of guilt. I have so much and it makes me feel ashamed for not helping them. But how do I help them. I know the thing they need the most, I hold the answer, that Jesus Christ died for them and that no matter what the world labels them at or what status society gives them, they are loved. Why can I not share this true pure Love of Christ with them? Why am I so week? Is it again coming back to the point of another failure? Pride is a tough thing to lose, but God ask us to die to ourselves. He must become greater, I must become less!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


Where does the dissatisfaction with life come from? We never seem to be satisfied. As hard as everyone tries to reach their desires, we always seem to come up short and fail to reach that point that we so desire. People try all kinds of ploys to make them feel satisfied, one of the big ones that I have seen or heard is that a lot of money will solve many problems. But doesn't money just create more problems. It draws us further from the solution. No matter how much we make, we still didn't get to where we want and we become dissatisfied with how things are going.
But many times it even feels that healthy desires do not help us. I was reading John Eldridge's book titled "Desire" yesterday and he was talking how he longed to take a great fishing trip for years but time after time something went wrong where he was either unable to fish or he was not able to catch anything when he fished. On the way back from one of his trips he was thinking how he had always longed to own a ranch on a river where he could fish and just enjoy God's creation. Why would God not grant him this desire? It seems like a healthy desire. John explained how on his drive back from his latest fishing expedition, he thought about why this desire of his was not being obtained. Even though healthy, if placed in this desire it would be his own little heaven, and in a way he would not need God there.
We fill ourselves with these desires, where if only I could obtain this desire of mine, if only..., but God has his desire for us, and we are so stuck in the now or stuck in this place in our mind that we can not see where what is happening is taking us. In his book, John also talks how our failed desires can affect us as well. We have these desires that get crushed and slowly we stop desiring all together. We build up these desires in our hearts and minds and one by one we fail to obtain what we desire.
So does this dissatisfaction come from our constantly failing desires? Does it come from a society that tells us that it is all about me? I do not even know what else to say and I do not know if any of this makes sense as I ramble on. It can be hard to continue to desire after we fail, but it is important to not lose heart and to think of the bigger picture, because it's not about us, it's about serving the One who died for us.