As I run along the river, I see some of the same people everyday. No doubt that they are homeless, as they have the same clothes on everyday and they smell of sweat and are filthy. One guy in particular has stuck out to me. I passed him the other day as he was staggering along the sidewalk, talking to himself along the way. As I ran past I gave him a "good morning" and he shamefully looked to the ground. This man seemed to have no hope. As I ran back I came up to him again sitting on the curb, just talking to himself and every once in a while he would chuckle.
This man made me think about what drives a person to this point of craziness. Does this man have any hope? Do these people reach this point as a result of many failed attempts at pursuing their desires? Where were they ten years ago, fifteen years ago? Did they hold a desire to be something bigger than themselves. I'm pretty sure that when they were my age that they had a desire for something bigger than where they are now. As I see the hopelessness in the eyes of some of these people, it breaks my heart. Where did their passion go? What happened to their dreams and desires?
Over the past two or three weeks I have felt a loss of desire. Many of my desires I no longer felt a desire for. I lost my excitement for Colorado, for pursuing my heart and for doing what I love. I felt like doing nothing with my life. Is this the result of too many failed pursuits? I can see how when we rely on ourselves and continue to fail that a person can fall to such a hopelessness. What is the breaking point? Why is no one reaching to these people. I pass these people and get a feeling of guilt. I have so much and it makes me feel ashamed for not helping them. But how do I help them. I know the thing they need the most, I hold the answer, that Jesus Christ died for them and that no matter what the world labels them at or what status society gives them, they are loved. Why can I not share this true pure Love of Christ with them? Why am I so week? Is it again coming back to the point of another failure? Pride is a tough thing to lose, but God ask us to die to ourselves. He must become greater, I must become less!