Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Interesting

Interesting. That is how I would label the past week or so. It has been extremely busy as I have completed mid-terms finished a couple of books with extra reading on top of that, and have had really awesome classes. Meanwhile the spiritual warfare has heated up to go on top of this. It has been a week of battle for me spiritually and mentally. But I will start with classes first.
Monday we started the leadership part of my Gender and Leadership Class and it was incredible. Prof. Thomason told us the story of Ernest Shackelton who led an expedition to Antarctica and faced many trials but refused to leave a man behind. Such a great example of courage and tremendous leadership. Today's class in Marriage and Family was on sex. Interesting enough to stop right there. It is a little intimidating looking at marriage and how even an issue of sex has so many sub-issues within it. It was still a great class, but I become a little overwhelmed with all the issues that must be addressed in marriage. The reading has been really good, but it is a lot of reading. It's great to get such a great spectrum of knowledge from all the books we read.
But more than anything, the spiritual battle has been at the forefront of the past week. God has laid upon my heart to really pray for several different people over the past week. I have tried to dedicate more time and more concentration on this area, and since then Satan has been coming at me stronger. It's encouraging to know he is attacking more, because that must mean I'm becoming a bigger threat. It's great to win each little battle saying, "God is stronger! If God is with me, who can stop me!" Telling Satan he has no power over my God. But it is tiring, exhausting, and painful at times. Satan knows where to attack me, and I battle with these thoughts. Each time I have won the battle, but it does not go away. It returns time and time again, and it wears on me. Sometimes I believe the lies for a minute or two. I regret a lot of things I have done, I'm not even close to being perfect and I have made so many mistakes that have hurt those closest to me, but God has redeemed me. I no longer have to live in the past. I'm determined to learn from the past, but I make sure not to dwell on those mistakes. I wish dearly I could change some of the ways I have acted, some of the the actions I have done, but I'm a sinful man and I make mistakes and I can become stronger as a result of these mistakes.
It's been a learning process. In my Wordle Blog I listed the things that I am... from the start of the semester. The biggest one that I placed in there is "Being Healed" and this process is continuing. God has blessed me with so much healing, but it's a continual battle for me. Those scars are still there and scabbed over and Satan keeps rubbing them to try to open them back up. But God places His band-aid over them, protecting them from Satan's evil hand. God is doing incredible things in my life. He is and will continue to show me so much more over the next six weeks that I am here. I ask for your continued prayers in my life and those that are here with me. In a program like this where the spiritual world is discussed so much and so much revolves around this Institution that is proclaiming the Truth of God, we face heavy spiritual warfare. Your prayers mean so much. Thank you all so much. I love each of you dearly, and I can't wait to connect with you all again!

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