Thursday, April 7, 2011
Love without Respect?
How do we love when we as men don't feel respect? It's a difficult task, one that tears apart friendships and marriages. I read the book Love and Respect for my Marriage and Family class at FLI and it was extremely challenging and a little intimidating when looking ahead to marriage. How will I always show love to those I care about when I don't feel the love from them or, even more importantly for men, respect from them? Oh how I have failed several times this semester in this area. My instant response is to shut down and pull away from these people. I tell myself in my mind, "Hey, they aren't showing you respect, so why should you love them, obviously they don't care about you!" Oh the lies of Satan, so deceitful and dangerous, filling our minds with assumptions that are rarely true and tearing apart something beautiful. As soon as we buy into this assumption, this relationship goes into a crazy spinning downfall. Instead of responding instantly, we must pray! Pray for strength, courage, and wisdom that we may put away our selfishness and respond in love, even in the hardest of times. What does this do? It shows your true care for this person and is the beginning of getting back on the right track. Sure, there may be work to do, problems to work out, but it will keep you from falling into this crazy downfall. And men, don't shut down going silent, be the leader, step up and tell the other person, "I still love you no matter what, but that was hurtful. I have been feeling disrespected and I just want to know why." Be open and honest. Shutting down does not do any good, but may be the start of the cycle. Expressing your feelings and hurt shows care for the friendship and demonstrates your love, wanting to solve the issue. But men, also take a look at yourself. Have you been expressing love, or are you the start of the problem. It may take an apology from you to start things off, and if this is the case, don't hesitate. Men, we have become so passive to expressing ourselves, thinking that we should not have emotions but that somehow by being silent and acting like it is not affecting us is demonstrating strength. That is bull-crap!!! Men it is time to step up and be the leader, to be the one who steps forward when problems arise, taking initiative and thus demonstrating our strength. The world is hurting for men like this, for real men who know what it means to be a leader! And women, don't give up hope, but challenge the men around you to be the man you desire. Allow them to lead, force them to lead, and be active in their growth in development by giving them respect and thus in return receiving love! I love you all very much, and ask you all to challenge me in this area as well, because God is still working on me!