Thursday, September 15, 2011


There are so many things that God does that I don't understand! Things I feel called to, only to feel hurt and to seem as if I failed. In the past year I have felt this way so many times. It's hard when there seems to be an easy answer, only to have God call you do to do what is difficult. To love, knowing that this may not be returned. To give, expecting nothing in return. To care, when you know only words of anger will come back.

At what point do you let go, do you move on? At what point do you allow others to learn from consequences? After pouring into Jaluan for two years, he has returned only anger now. It can be hard to hear rebuke from someone who I Love and pray for every night. It can be hard to allow God to work and leave them to the consequences of their actions. At some point, all we can do is pray. All I can do is pray that God brings healing. We can only bring people so far and at some point, the decision has to be theirs. This is so hard, to know what Freedom is and to know what is needed, only to have to watch them suffer.

One thing I know for certain though, God is Great! He listens to prayer and He answers prayer! Sometimes we don't think our prayer is effective because it's not answered in the way we expect or in an obvious way, but we have no idea what our prayers do! No matter what hurt we experience, no matter how much sorrow we feel, no matter how much we don't understand what God ask of us, we can pray and we should pray! There is True power in prayer! Never underestimate God! Pray!

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