Hearing from God

Is it possible to literally hear from God? Does God really speak through us? Will God really guide us through dreams or visions?

Growing up, no one ever really discussed the spiritual gifts in depth. Sure, I heard them mentioned, but never explored how we see them, how we recognize them in our life's, or how they are used. For so long, the God I knew seemed like a distant God, who I could send request to, only praying to have them answered. Never thinking He would speak to me, but seeing Him as just a recipient of my request. WOW!!! I was missing out on the incredibleness of God!! Yes, He speaks to us!!!!!! Literally!!!!! Yes, He speaks to us through dreams and visions!!!! Yes, He is the same God yesterday, today, and tomorrow! God is not a distant God, but an intimate, personal God, who desires to hold us in His arms. He desires us to pursue Him with all that we are, more than we pursue anything else in our live. If we are failing to pursue Him more than something else in our life, we will feel discontent. Why? Because we are not living in Him and who He created us to be! We fail to see the jealousy of God! He is jealous! Jealous to have His glory made known, jealous to have our whole being, jealous to have His creation make His name made known! And we should find this exciting, to have a God who desires us so much that He will step down into the mess we have made and try to pull us out. Ultimately He has given us free choice to choose what we want, but He will pursue, and He desires you to pursue Him! In the end the choice is ours. But my God is the God He says He is! He does speak to us! We can hear directly from God, God does speak through those around us, God does speak to us through dreams and visions, and God does care! He wants to hold us tight! He wants to bless us, but we must be ready for these blessings! We must understand where these blessing come from!

We constantly ask God to reveal Himself to us, to show us who He really is, but we must be ready to know the characteristics of God. Sometimes we are not ready. It may be that we are still holding onto something, He may not have our full devotion, or maybe we are not listening! Maybe we don't have the trust or faith that we really believe that God is still intimate and still there to hold us tight. God could not reveal His gift in me until I took the time to fully understand what that gift was and how to use it. And it wasn't until this past Friday, September 23, that God made known to me the full extent of what this spiritual gift looks like. Why did it take so long? Because I did not take the time to know what this gift was and how it is used. I never sought out to know my spiritual gift. But now, I'm so overcome with Joy, knowing what I know! Finally understanding what this gift is and how God can use it! It is a process. I had to learn boldness, courage, and develop such an intimate relationship with my Savior that He could speak to me! My desire is that each and every one of you may know God in such an intimate way, that we are so filled with Joy and Love that it may not be contained within us, but explode, infecting those around us! There is such freedom in having this relationship with God! May God grant you Wisdom in your journey as you pursue Him with every ounce of your being!

Pray!

There are so many things that God does that I don't understand! Things I feel called to, only to feel hurt and to seem as if I failed. In the past year I have felt this way so many times. It's hard when there seems to be an easy answer, only to have God call you do to do what is difficult. To love, knowing that this may not be returned. To give, expecting nothing in return. To care, when you know only words of anger will come back.

At what point do you let go, do you move on? At what point do you allow others to learn from consequences? After pouring into Jaluan for two years, he has returned only anger now. It can be hard to hear rebuke from someone who I Love and pray for every night. It can be hard to allow God to work and leave them to the consequences of their actions. At some point, all we can do is pray. All I can do is pray that God brings healing. We can only bring people so far and at some point, the decision has to be theirs. This is so hard, to know what Freedom is and to know what is needed, only to have to watch them suffer.

One thing I know for certain though, God is Great! He listens to prayer and He answers prayer! Sometimes we don't think our prayer is effective because it's not answered in the way we expect or in an obvious way, but we have no idea what our prayers do! No matter what hurt we experience, no matter how much sorrow we feel, no matter how much we don't understand what God ask of us, we can pray and we should pray! There is True power in prayer! Never underestimate God! Pray!

The Pain of Love

"Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone." - C.S. Lewis

Love is such a powerful thing. It helps breakdown barriers and bridge gaps, it allows us to encourage others and show others who Christ is, and it helps us feel valued. But this same thing causes so much pain. The more love we pour into a person, the greater the capacity for hurt. Sometimes the result of this hurt holds us back from pouring out our love again. Not wanting to experience that pain again. It is hard. It's hard to pour so much love out, to love unconditionally, and to not feel it being returned. It creates a cautiousness in us. It can hold us back in future friendships. It can keep us from allowing people to move past our exterior. It's hard to move past this hurt.

Jesus experienced this same hurt. He poured so much into His disciples. Loving them with a perfect love, and yet He experienced rejection and betrayal from them. He gave His everything to serve and yet those He loved, with His whole being, turned on Him.

So why Love? Because God first Loved us! Despite our rejection, our constant disrespect of His greatness, He continually Loves! This is so hard to do. It is so easy to be angry and to reject those who have hurt us to our core. But we must continue to Love. For true Love keeps no record of wrongs, but ask us to continually Love and pray for those who have hurt us. May we not so much seek our will, but God's will. May we not look out for our needs, so much as for the needs of others. May we bless those who persecute or hurt us, and not repay evil for evil. May our capacity for love not be diminished but may it continually grow.

"Even love unreturned has its rainbow." - James Matthew Barrie

A Longing

There is this longing in me for something more, for something greater. I feel unfulfilled, unsatisfied by where I am at. There is a burning passion inside me that I can't seem to target what it is for. Opportunities arise and there are many directions I can go in this life, but I don't know where to go or where I want to go. It's so confusing! I don't feel settled in any one thing. It's like one day I believe I should be going overseas, another day I feel called to urban ministry's in the US, and other days I feel called to Marion. It's a confusing twist, and many times I just want to do it all, take on the world. I have no idea where I'm going, where God is going to use my gifts and talents. I think part of it may be my lack of reliance on Him, feeling unsatisfied because part of me still wants my hearts desires, which are not always focused around God.
One thing I know for a fact is that I want to serve God, to serve His people, to serve the lost and hurting and to set the captives free. God has laid so many burdens on my heart. A burden for the fatherless, a burden for those who do not have a voice, a burden for those who are trapped in lies that they can't seem to break free from. I want people to see themselves for who God has created them to be. To see themselves as beautiful and strong. To know that God has equipped every person in this world with unique and awesome gifts that no one else has. And to see people experience the freedom that comes from knowing that there is a God who is there for you!

A boxed God?

Where do we get off thinking that we know better than God? How come we are constantly trying to fit God into our box, into the person we want Him to be, and constantly fail to allow God to be God? How can we question what God does, expressing how God could possibly do this or that if He were a loving God?
One of the most powerful statements God makes in the Bible is stating "I am". Really, I am? What does that mean? It means God is all there is. God is everything. Within this statement, God is presenting His ultimate being. No matter what God does, He is perfect, what happens is part of His eternal plan.
So many things that God does throughout the Old Testament make me think, "This is not the God that I know. The God I know would not do that!" How arrogant of me! The pridefulness of putting an infinite God in a box! To think that I would know God better than He knows Himself, how ridiculous is that! We did not make God into our image, but we are made in the image of God. We are His, He is not ours. So many times we try to fit God into this person that we can deal with, that we understand, when the Truth is we will never fully understand God, and some of the actions He makes will not make sense to our human minds.
In the end, God is God and we are man. We try so hard to identify God through words, but God transcends words, He transcends our knowledge, and words are the only way that we can begin to identify His characteristics, but they are limiting. We must understand this fact, that words can't explain God, He is greater than any words. Let's not fall into this trap of holding God within our box. Let's allow God to be God!

Just takes a little faith!

"If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed." Jesus turned and saw her, "Take heart, daughter, your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment.

As I read through Matthew 9 and 10 this continually pops up, "Your faith has healed you!" What!?!?! These people believed that Jesus could heal and that faith healed them. Jesus tells us to have the faith of a little child, not limiting ourselves by what we have seen happen, but believing and having faith that God really can do anything. These people were ordinary people, no scholars or prophets, but people who had the faith of a mustard seed. As we grow older we become so logical, thinking everything has to make sense and everything has it's routine. We think this is how life is, we fall into this routine where everything happens the same way every time, people get sick, go to the doctor and let them take care of it. So are we saying that God can no longer heal in the ways He used to? Or are we just showing a lack of faith? Why can't God still heal in this way? We should believe in the power of the Almighty. Even in the little things, God cares about us. He calls us to seek Him, to ask for things and He will grant them. God wants to display His power, His might, and His majesty. He wants to heal and set the prisoners free, but we fail to offer this freedom to those around us. We fail to make known the greatness of our Lord and Savior. WHY? Why are we so scared of what others might think. If our God is for us, than who can be against us! We love the apostles and we love the work they do. As we read through the New Testament we think, "Wow, now this guy was great!" We read their books and gain knowledge, but we fail to see their true purpose. To bring healing to the captives. We are in the same situation they were, holding the Truth that can set the prisoners free, but we fail to be bold and persistent like these men. We need this faith, faith that God can do anything, and that everyone should experience the freedom and peace that comes with knowing and trusting God. May we find this faith. The faith of a mustard seed!

God owes me nothing!

Who are we to think that God owes us something? The past month has been difficult for me. This is not how this chapter in my life is supposed to end. I have experienced God's great Love and freedom, but I have felt so much pain and heartache. And I found myself coming before God saying, "I deserve better than this!" or "I'm owed this!" declaring that I have ownership of something. But we are not owed anything!!! We have no right to anything because it's all God's! And God owes us nothing, rather we owe God everything, but we so quickly forget this fact. I'm a sinner, with a debt towards God. He has granted me caretaker of so many of His wonderful things, and although I fail time and time again to honor Him with my everything, He still gives me more. As it says in Ecclesiastes, "He has made everything beautiful in its time." Everything is a gift from God and it is beautiful in it's time. I struggle to let go of some of these gifts, claiming ownership of them and completely forgetting that it was a gift, not a right of mine, but something that God had blessed me with. Let us not forget the fact that God does not owe us anything.