Monday, January 11, 2010

A Wonderful Break!

Many times when I go home on break I struggle with being away from everyone at school and struggle with being myself. This past Christmas break was the best break I have had since being at college. I felt more confidence in myself, I felt like myself. I felt much more peace about where I was, where things where going and knowing that God is in control. I thought a lot about this past semester and things that I need to improve on and how I need to change my focus from the self-centeredness to things not being about me at all. Everything is about God. John Piper's talk at Passion keeps coming back following his sermon and how God is a jealous God and it is all about Him, not about me but about Him. What a journey this past year and a half has been and I have had so many learning experiences and have had to evaluate myself many times to make sure my focus is on God.
I enjoyed a lot of time with my family this break and it was good. Looking over my schedule for the year of 2010 it appears that I will only be able to go home one weekend during this semester and I will have a week at home at the end of August, so it was good to spend a lot of time with my family.
I went to Atlanta for a four day college age conference called Passion and it was amazing. Being able to worship with 22,000 college students just lifted my spirits, knowing that the next generation does really care to make known the name of Jesus! It was encouraging and it was challenging. The speakers were terrific and really challenged me to be bolder and a brighter light.
Over the past couple months I have struggled with understanding God's plans and why certain things happen. It's been a struggle for me to not receive what I want but following God's path for my life. Towards the end of break I finally started receiving some freedom from my own desires and just gazing upon the face of God in awe saying here's my life, take it and make it new. Finally saying God it is all about you, refine my heart, let me die to myself and pour my heart and soul out to you. What a struggle though to give up on something we long for and to just step back and say, "God, where you lead I will follow!" I ask for prayer in this area. At points I struggle greatly with questioning why God has done what He has and have many times bring myself down with thoughts of my weaknesses. I pray that I would not gaze upon my weaknesses but always keep in mind that God has given me talents and that it's not about me. That I would pour myself out to His will, not mine. All of you have been so great, and have been such an encouragement! I thank you for your prayers, and continue to ask for prayers because the next couple months really are going to be a struggle and I know there is no greater weapon in the world than prayer! I really believe that, so please continue to pray, and please let me know if I can ever do anything for you! God Bless and have a wonderful day! With the love of Christ!

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