Thursday, April 7, 2011
Love without Respect?
How do we love when we as men don't feel respect? It's a difficult task, one that tears apart friendships and marriages. I read the book Love and Respect for my Marriage and Family class at FLI and it was extremely challenging and a little intimidating when looking ahead to marriage. How will I always show love to those I care about when I don't feel the love from them or, even more importantly for men, respect from them? Oh how I have failed several times this semester in this area. My instant response is to shut down and pull away from these people. I tell myself in my mind, "Hey, they aren't showing you respect, so why should you love them, obviously they don't care about you!" Oh the lies of Satan, so deceitful and dangerous, filling our minds with assumptions that are rarely true and tearing apart something beautiful. As soon as we buy into this assumption, this relationship goes into a crazy spinning downfall. Instead of responding instantly, we must pray! Pray for strength, courage, and wisdom that we may put away our selfishness and respond in love, even in the hardest of times. What does this do? It shows your true care for this person and is the beginning of getting back on the right track. Sure, there may be work to do, problems to work out, but it will keep you from falling into this crazy downfall. And men, don't shut down going silent, be the leader, step up and tell the other person, "I still love you no matter what, but that was hurtful. I have been feeling disrespected and I just want to know why." Be open and honest. Shutting down does not do any good, but may be the start of the cycle. Expressing your feelings and hurt shows care for the friendship and demonstrates your love, wanting to solve the issue. But men, also take a look at yourself. Have you been expressing love, or are you the start of the problem. It may take an apology from you to start things off, and if this is the case, don't hesitate. Men, we have become so passive to expressing ourselves, thinking that we should not have emotions but that somehow by being silent and acting like it is not affecting us is demonstrating strength. That is bull-crap!!! Men it is time to step up and be the leader, to be the one who steps forward when problems arise, taking initiative and thus demonstrating our strength. The world is hurting for men like this, for real men who know what it means to be a leader! And women, don't give up hope, but challenge the men around you to be the man you desire. Allow them to lead, force them to lead, and be active in their growth in development by giving them respect and thus in return receiving love! I love you all very much, and ask you all to challenge me in this area as well, because God is still working on me!
Friday, March 25, 2011
Presidential Review
I was informed today by a dear friend that today marks the 100th day since we left FLI. Upon her recommendation I will do a 100 day review of my life since Focus.
There is no single word that can even come close to describing the past 100 days. They have been filled with joy, bondage, freedom, pain, growth, molding, and purification. There are many more words I would like to put in here, but I could go forever. As you can tell, many of these words contradict each other, but isn't that reflective of life. Leaving FLI I was on top of the mountain and slowly have descended, climbed, and descended. Life is up and down, and for so long I feared the valleys, and allowed Satan to make me feel defeated in these times, but as Dr. Thomason would say, "Battles are fought in valleys." I have taken his words of wisdom to help me feel strong in the valley, and to remember that we are to "Consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds, because the testing of our faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it's work so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (This brings me back to our running group, those early morning runs, quoting scripture and being vulnerable. I miss those days) This semester has been so incredible for me, due in large part to the wisdom of my professors last semester and also my wise roommate, AK.
The largest part of my growth is recognizing who I am, who God created me to be, and living in MY strengths and not in anyone else's strengths. It's been about daily dying to self and recognizing my real purpose on earth, which is to bring glory to El Qanna! Learning is a continual process, and God has shown me so much in the past 100 days. Most recently I have learned a little more about what it means to be a man, through a painful experience. My number two strength is harmony, and I hate conflict, I hate hurting others, and I hate the risk that God sometimes demands us to take. I learned that trusting God is many times not waiting around to the risk lessens and we can avoid conflict, but so many times trusting God is going into a moment of high risk and saying "God, I know this is going to be painful, I really don't want to do this, but I'm trusting You to give me the strength, and to be my shepherd!"
I have grown in the belief of myself. I have downgraded myself over the past year in my ability to teach. I have allowed myself to buy into these lies that I can not teach and that I do not possess what the stereotypical teacher possesses. Why yes this is true that I do not possess the skills that most teachers have, but I have my own strengths, maybe not the strength to be a great presenter and to present new material, but I have the strength to guide students to their own discovery, to make students believe in themselves, and the incredible ability to build strong bonds with any student quickly. I no longer define myself by others, but I know who I am, and I know the incredible man God has created me to be. Even now this brings tears to my eyes. I lived in the bondage of doubt for so long and it is so freeing to finally recognize who I am!
I have been so blessed over the past 100 days, and now Katelyn has sent my mind reeling trying to explain everything that has happened over this period. I have been put through the refiners fire this semester, and although extremely painful at times, I'm becoming purer and slowly becoming more like God. My desire? To be a man after God's own heart, to fully trust in Him (which is the most freeing thing ever), and to continually display the joy of all that God has done in me, never forgetting the blessings of God, and never losing the AWE for who He is! May all recognize the greatness of God, the splendor of being able to meet the creator in an intimate setting, and the incredibleness of being drawn into the Trinity with Him, through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
FLI Alum - You have been such an encouragement to me and have taught me so much. I will never forget any of you and the journey I have shared with you. I truly was transformed by my time there, and each one of you had a part in that. Thanks for the journey!
I love all of you so much!!!!!
There is no single word that can even come close to describing the past 100 days. They have been filled with joy, bondage, freedom, pain, growth, molding, and purification. There are many more words I would like to put in here, but I could go forever. As you can tell, many of these words contradict each other, but isn't that reflective of life. Leaving FLI I was on top of the mountain and slowly have descended, climbed, and descended. Life is up and down, and for so long I feared the valleys, and allowed Satan to make me feel defeated in these times, but as Dr. Thomason would say, "Battles are fought in valleys." I have taken his words of wisdom to help me feel strong in the valley, and to remember that we are to "Consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds, because the testing of our faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it's work so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (This brings me back to our running group, those early morning runs, quoting scripture and being vulnerable. I miss those days) This semester has been so incredible for me, due in large part to the wisdom of my professors last semester and also my wise roommate, AK.
The largest part of my growth is recognizing who I am, who God created me to be, and living in MY strengths and not in anyone else's strengths. It's been about daily dying to self and recognizing my real purpose on earth, which is to bring glory to El Qanna! Learning is a continual process, and God has shown me so much in the past 100 days. Most recently I have learned a little more about what it means to be a man, through a painful experience. My number two strength is harmony, and I hate conflict, I hate hurting others, and I hate the risk that God sometimes demands us to take. I learned that trusting God is many times not waiting around to the risk lessens and we can avoid conflict, but so many times trusting God is going into a moment of high risk and saying "God, I know this is going to be painful, I really don't want to do this, but I'm trusting You to give me the strength, and to be my shepherd!"
I have grown in the belief of myself. I have downgraded myself over the past year in my ability to teach. I have allowed myself to buy into these lies that I can not teach and that I do not possess what the stereotypical teacher possesses. Why yes this is true that I do not possess the skills that most teachers have, but I have my own strengths, maybe not the strength to be a great presenter and to present new material, but I have the strength to guide students to their own discovery, to make students believe in themselves, and the incredible ability to build strong bonds with any student quickly. I no longer define myself by others, but I know who I am, and I know the incredible man God has created me to be. Even now this brings tears to my eyes. I lived in the bondage of doubt for so long and it is so freeing to finally recognize who I am!
I have been so blessed over the past 100 days, and now Katelyn has sent my mind reeling trying to explain everything that has happened over this period. I have been put through the refiners fire this semester, and although extremely painful at times, I'm becoming purer and slowly becoming more like God. My desire? To be a man after God's own heart, to fully trust in Him (which is the most freeing thing ever), and to continually display the joy of all that God has done in me, never forgetting the blessings of God, and never losing the AWE for who He is! May all recognize the greatness of God, the splendor of being able to meet the creator in an intimate setting, and the incredibleness of being drawn into the Trinity with Him, through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
FLI Alum - You have been such an encouragement to me and have taught me so much. I will never forget any of you and the journey I have shared with you. I truly was transformed by my time there, and each one of you had a part in that. Thanks for the journey!
I love all of you so much!!!!!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Being a man!
What does it mean to be a man? This has been the question over the past three days. During my counseling session on Friday I was presented with a lot of deep questions about where I'm at and what I want from my future. The question that struck me the most in regards to where I'm at in my life was, "What does it mean to be a man in this situation?" I had no answer, several ideas, but no answer. I have grown so much in the past six months, learning what it means to be a leader in society, learning how to lead a family, learning how to be a husband, and most importantly learning how to be a man of God and seeking to be a man after God's own heart. But after several questions going deeper into the issue, I have seen how I have failed to be a man, how I have failed to step up and be the man I need to be. I have been striving so hard for this level of perfection, which is impossible because after all, I'm a man, fallen and in need of wisdom from above. I have become scared to be vulnerable and to make mistakes, because I feel that this somehow will make me less of a man. What a stupid lie! We will make mistakes and at points we have to make ourselves vulnerable and step-up and be a true man, being a leader, and not holding back.
Now, onto a different topic of manhood, Mr. Matthew Yoder turned sixteen yesterday, introduction into manhood. We had all the men of the church get together and share our wisdom with Matt on what it means to be a man and how to be the men God desires us to be. This generation has become so confused on what it really means to be a man, due in large part to the movies and shows that are on television. Watch almost any new television show and you will see how society has demasculinited men. It shows men as incompetent, to stupid to do anything. It shows men as lazy, allowing the women to do the work. It shows women running the household, running the family, but men, this is not how God created it. God created us to be leaders, to protect women, to make them feel beautiful, and to be a spiritual leader and warrior. Our society, and especially young boys, need to see what it means to be a man, and how this is to be lived out. Young boys have no idea what it truly means to be a man, they need an example to follow, and men it is our responsibility to display for them the true meaning of being a man.
Now, onto a different topic of manhood, Mr. Matthew Yoder turned sixteen yesterday, introduction into manhood. We had all the men of the church get together and share our wisdom with Matt on what it means to be a man and how to be the men God desires us to be. This generation has become so confused on what it really means to be a man, due in large part to the movies and shows that are on television. Watch almost any new television show and you will see how society has demasculinited men. It shows men as incompetent, to stupid to do anything. It shows men as lazy, allowing the women to do the work. It shows women running the household, running the family, but men, this is not how God created it. God created us to be leaders, to protect women, to make them feel beautiful, and to be a spiritual leader and warrior. Our society, and especially young boys, need to see what it means to be a man, and how this is to be lived out. Young boys have no idea what it truly means to be a man, they need an example to follow, and men it is our responsibility to display for them the true meaning of being a man.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Becoming like Christ?
How do we do this? David was a man after God's own heart. We are told to have the same attitude of Christ. We are to be followers of Jesus and live a life that seeks to honor God in everything we do. But how, as fallen man, do we become like Christ? It is an impossible task, but yet we are told to try. I have become frustrated many times over the past three weeks with this task. I get myself on this become like Christ mode where every little mistake I beat myself up over and constantly overthink every little thing I do, thinking that this particular aspect of my life is not Christlike. Many times these things are not necessarily wrong, it's just not using discernment in a certain situation.
So what are we to do? We can't expect ourselves to be perfect. One of the attacks of Satan is that we must be perfect. But we must remember we are to be like God, not be God. Of course we will fail, but it is important to learn from these failures, but not by dwelling on them. It's identify the lies that we are led to believe, and looking for the Truth that exist. We need to ask for the Holy Spirit to dwell within us everyday, that we may be an extension of Christ, serving our part in the body.
We each have received unique gifts and talents that we are to use to help further the kingdom of God. This brings us back around to community, fulfilling our role, not every role, but helping each other out by knowing our weaknesses and allowing others to fill those weaknesses. It's also about making sure that we have that intimate time with God every day. Isn't it incredible that the creator of all there is, the Alpha and Omega, has invited us into this direct communication with Him, that He would wrap His arms around us when we need it, despite our constant failures.
One of the most encouraging things for me over the past five days has been a little square of paper that a friend made that simply says "Jesus Loves Me=)" with the smiley face upright of course. Over the past days this has sunk in more than ever before. Jesus LOVES me, a sinner, a man struggling through this life, through these questions, struggling to have a heart after God's own heart, but this is what it is all about, the Love of Jesus. My prayer is that we all can truly recognize the grandeur of prayer and the Bible and that God would come down to us and directly communicate with us, having His hand in our lives, and that we may recognize the awesomeness of the words "Jesus Loves Me".
So what are we to do? We can't expect ourselves to be perfect. One of the attacks of Satan is that we must be perfect. But we must remember we are to be like God, not be God. Of course we will fail, but it is important to learn from these failures, but not by dwelling on them. It's identify the lies that we are led to believe, and looking for the Truth that exist. We need to ask for the Holy Spirit to dwell within us everyday, that we may be an extension of Christ, serving our part in the body.
We each have received unique gifts and talents that we are to use to help further the kingdom of God. This brings us back around to community, fulfilling our role, not every role, but helping each other out by knowing our weaknesses and allowing others to fill those weaknesses. It's also about making sure that we have that intimate time with God every day. Isn't it incredible that the creator of all there is, the Alpha and Omega, has invited us into this direct communication with Him, that He would wrap His arms around us when we need it, despite our constant failures.
One of the most encouraging things for me over the past five days has been a little square of paper that a friend made that simply says "Jesus Loves Me=)" with the smiley face upright of course. Over the past days this has sunk in more than ever before. Jesus LOVES me, a sinner, a man struggling through this life, through these questions, struggling to have a heart after God's own heart, but this is what it is all about, the Love of Jesus. My prayer is that we all can truly recognize the grandeur of prayer and the Bible and that God would come down to us and directly communicate with us, having His hand in our lives, and that we may recognize the awesomeness of the words "Jesus Loves Me".
Monday, February 7, 2011
Fear of the Lord
Where has our fear of God gone? We hear a lot about grace and love and forgiveness of sins, but we rarely talk about God being just, about fearing God. Sure it is great to hear about the love God has for us, but what about the wrath of God and that being satisfied? What about El Qanna? How come we never discuss this? Sure God does show us grace and mercy, but God is a jealous God and He will have His Glory fulfilled.
Lately I have been reading through Numbers and Deuteronomy, and like many I wonder why God has the Israelites following all these laws and commands. God is calling the Israelites to be set apart from those around them. God in return shows Israel His favor. Why does He constantly do mighty and great works through the Israelites? To show His power and might, so that all may glorify Him. Did you read that, that they may Glorify HIm! God will make His power known. What else is discussed in these passages? Well God tells Moses that they should fear HIm and that through seeing His power and might firsthand, that they may fear the Lord.
So how are we seeing God's power and might in our lives? So many times we take for granite the things God does for us. But God is displaying His power all around us. Look at the order that is all around us. You think that just came to be? No, that is God's power and might, still at work in our world.
What is our live? We are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. This life is short. At any time we can pass on from this life. Does this not give you a sense of urgency to make sure we are right with God, to reach out to those around us that are being held captive by Satan, or to finally fear the Lord.
We call ourselves a Christian nation, displaying on our coins "In God We Trust", but we fail to truly fear God. Sure we do have some respect for God, trying to make sure God is on our side. Is this enought though? No, we must really fear the Lord, saying that we are nothing without Him. This requires totally dying to self, and allowing the Holy Spirit to take control of our lives, to guide us, give us discernemnt, and to grant us wisdom.
So my challenge to you all: take up this sense of urgency, come to know and serve El Qanna, and to truly fear the Lord!
Lately I have been reading through Numbers and Deuteronomy, and like many I wonder why God has the Israelites following all these laws and commands. God is calling the Israelites to be set apart from those around them. God in return shows Israel His favor. Why does He constantly do mighty and great works through the Israelites? To show His power and might, so that all may glorify Him. Did you read that, that they may Glorify HIm! God will make His power known. What else is discussed in these passages? Well God tells Moses that they should fear HIm and that through seeing His power and might firsthand, that they may fear the Lord.
So how are we seeing God's power and might in our lives? So many times we take for granite the things God does for us. But God is displaying His power all around us. Look at the order that is all around us. You think that just came to be? No, that is God's power and might, still at work in our world.
What is our live? We are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. This life is short. At any time we can pass on from this life. Does this not give you a sense of urgency to make sure we are right with God, to reach out to those around us that are being held captive by Satan, or to finally fear the Lord.
We call ourselves a Christian nation, displaying on our coins "In God We Trust", but we fail to truly fear God. Sure we do have some respect for God, trying to make sure God is on our side. Is this enought though? No, we must really fear the Lord, saying that we are nothing without Him. This requires totally dying to self, and allowing the Holy Spirit to take control of our lives, to guide us, give us discernemnt, and to grant us wisdom.
So my challenge to you all: take up this sense of urgency, come to know and serve El Qanna, and to truly fear the Lord!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Freedom!
What does freedom mean? Well, to quote from Noah Webster's 1828 dictionary, it defines it as: A state of exemption from the power or control of another; liberty; exemption from slavery, servitude or confinement. So exemption from slavery or confinement. Not being controlled by another. Liberty! In a spiritual sense, it's breaking free of the confinement that Satan desires to trap us in. It's finding Truth!!! And in finding Truth we can expose the lies that so many believe. The lies hold many captive, and keep people drudging along with Satan holding a grip on the emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being of a person. When we are held in captivity it is not something we desire, but many times we fail to escape because the escape is painful, it's hard, and we are scared to fail and thus be placed back into bondage with more cruelty shown to us. But God has told us He will be with us, and though this does not keep us from experiencing pain, it does tell us that we will make it if we persevere.
Friends, this is a battle, a battle for the hearts of God's most beloved creation. It's a war and it is time to suit up with the armor of God. Our hearts should be breaking for the captives! In the past three months I have experienced such freedom from the lies that Satan had been holding me down with and I have never been filled with more joy!!! With true joy!! There is a level of urgency here. The longer people live in the lies the harder it is to break free. It's time to seek Truth and make known the lies, setting the captives free, so that those we Love can experience the same freedom that we have. Let's make Satan nervous. It's time to break free the chains!!!
Friends, this is a battle, a battle for the hearts of God's most beloved creation. It's a war and it is time to suit up with the armor of God. Our hearts should be breaking for the captives! In the past three months I have experienced such freedom from the lies that Satan had been holding me down with and I have never been filled with more joy!!! With true joy!! There is a level of urgency here. The longer people live in the lies the harder it is to break free. It's time to seek Truth and make known the lies, setting the captives free, so that those we Love can experience the same freedom that we have. Let's make Satan nervous. It's time to break free the chains!!!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
What's to come?
Well, yet another year down, and another year of adventure. It truly has been a roller coaster year for me. I have been all over the board emotionally dealing with my degree, with my friends, and with my relationship with God. I went from being probably the furthest point I have ever been from God, to becoming the closest that I have ever been to God. In the past year I have learned so much from my mistakes and experiences. The Focus Leadership Institute has helped me learn from my experiences and has helped me see the uniqueness that God made me with. God has gifted me with some incredible strengths and has given me an incredible family and incredible friends who have been there for me through it all. I'm truly blessed to be where I'm at. In the past three months I have learned how to pursue God. I have learned the importance of recognizing my strengths and using those to serve God. I have continued to learn humility. I have seen how God really can use every experience to reveal something about himself.
God loves us. He hates to see us hurt and hates to see us ache. When we are hurting and don't understand the future, God is there with us, weeping. He wishes we could trust Him, because He knows our potential and our future and He hates to see us hurting because we fail to Trust. God does not make us fall into sin. As James says, "Nor does God tempt anyone, but each person is tempted when by his own evil desires he is dragged away and enticed." It's by our own evil desires that we fall from the Truth. But still God is there, wrapping His arms around us, whispering in our ears, "I love you!"
So often I pushed God away when He tries to come near. I refuse to allow anyone to come near to me. That selfish ambition creeps it's way in saying, "It's all about you!" Satan masquerades as an angel of light, tempting us with things that our human nature desires. And it is hard to resist. But James states, "Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you." God is calling us into a Holy communion with Him. He desires us and wants us to fellowship with Him. Search God, come near to Him. As it says in the book of James, "If any of you lacks wisdom he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault. But when he ask, he must believe and not doubt." So seek out God in this new year, ask God for wisdom, but when you ask, believe what He tells you, even if it is hard. It's time to trust the Truth of God and to run into His open arms and hear his whisper, "I love you!"
God loves us. He hates to see us hurt and hates to see us ache. When we are hurting and don't understand the future, God is there with us, weeping. He wishes we could trust Him, because He knows our potential and our future and He hates to see us hurting because we fail to Trust. God does not make us fall into sin. As James says, "Nor does God tempt anyone, but each person is tempted when by his own evil desires he is dragged away and enticed." It's by our own evil desires that we fall from the Truth. But still God is there, wrapping His arms around us, whispering in our ears, "I love you!"
So often I pushed God away when He tries to come near. I refuse to allow anyone to come near to me. That selfish ambition creeps it's way in saying, "It's all about you!" Satan masquerades as an angel of light, tempting us with things that our human nature desires. And it is hard to resist. But James states, "Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you." God is calling us into a Holy communion with Him. He desires us and wants us to fellowship with Him. Search God, come near to Him. As it says in the book of James, "If any of you lacks wisdom he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault. But when he ask, he must believe and not doubt." So seek out God in this new year, ask God for wisdom, but when you ask, believe what He tells you, even if it is hard. It's time to trust the Truth of God and to run into His open arms and hear his whisper, "I love you!"
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