So I'm here in Colorado Springs!! Drive went back pretty quick and I'm all moved into my apartment. Tonight all 44 of us students got together for supper and met with the professors. It's good to be back into community like this. I dreaded so much coming here as the past weeks have really worn on me and broke me down. I come into this semester week and vulnerable, but especially after tonight, I know that God has me right where He needs me. Satan has taken a strong hold on me over the past couple weeks, taking wounds and digging them deeper, getting me frustrated, feeding me lies, and getting me discouraged. Even now I'm still at a point where I have little fight, but I got here so I figure I do have a little fight and slowly I feel it coming back.
It feels good to be in a community like this again. It's going to be a tough semester for me, right now I'm at one of the lowest points I have ever been. Never have I felt this ready to give up, but I'm weak and that is when God is strong. There are a lot of things that I hold onto that I must let go, but it can be so hard. I know I'm going to be put through the fire. This is a time for God to restore and I'm ready to again come back into His presence and to experience the world around me with others who share a similar desire. God is so faithful and I so quickly forgot all the things He has done for me. "The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with Joy!" Pure Joy!
One thing Dr. Leland said tonight was that he covets the prayers of our parents and how powerful prayer is. Sure it's Colorado, but this is not an easy time for me, I really don't even want to be here, and so I desire your prayers, I ask for your constant prayers that God would humble me, and that I would allow the wounds to be healed, that I would Love with a pure Love and not the jealous, self-seeking love of the world, but that God would take me at this low point and build me into the man that He wants me to be. Again I thank all of you for your support and prayers. I love you all so much!!!